A new year on the rise.

Well, 2005 is almost done and I will have to get used to writing 2006 on all of my checks! What a wonderful life I have that getting used to writing 2006 is the worst part of a new year.

My Christmas was wonderful. I had a great time with my family in Tennessee. The drive was rough because we headed out so late. We had to stop halfway for the first time ever and stay the night in a hotel. My mom was freaking out about the cost of a hotel room for us. It was so funny. My husband and I both have very good jobs and my mom was concerned about a $90 hotel room! LOL I guess mothers will be mothers.

Everyone loved their gifts and I actually saw my mother relax for the first time in a few months. I wasn't sure how this Christmas was going to be after my Grandma died, but the family handled it in good stride. I think we were all dealing with it in our own little way.

I had a grin plastered on my face just thinking about all of the years I was able to spend Christmas Eve ripping open packages on my Grandmas carpet. She was there in memory and in each one of our eyes. I know she will always be a part of us but I am a little scared of the moment when I can't remember what she looks like without a picture or what her kitchen smelled like on Sunday afternoon. Or the sound of her laugh, the way her cheeks wrinkled up when she would smile. I guess I will have to deal with that when I get there. Right now I will cherish the memories and the traditions she left behind.

I suppose this is the first of many firsts that will take place since her death.

Love you Grandma, thanks for the good times. *kiss*

Tree time!

The discussion of real vs. fake came up in my house last night. I really wanted to have a tree but having a real tree just wasn't feasible. We are going to be gone most of next week so it just wasn't going to be practical to have a real tree (fire hazard) sitting alone (fire hazard) in an empty old house (fire hazard). My DH was absolutely against a fake tree early on but last night he conceded. We decided that we would have a real tree and a fake tree on alternating years. The years we will be in Tennessee we will do a fake tree and the years we will be home we will do a real tree! What a great compromise. In all reality the house isn't decorated for Christmas and I would have felt awful if, for our first Christmas in our first house, we didn't have at least a tree.

So the next job was to find a tree. I decided to go with a Martha Stewart Tree from Kmart. I hate shopping at Kmart but I guess I have been brainwashed to believe Martha doesn't put her name on a product unless it is high quality. Boy wouldn't she lose my viewership if this tree totally SUCKS!!! LOL

Speaking of trees...I have been trying to get in touch with someone to remove a big blue spruce that is in our back yard. It is half dead and out of place. It was planted 50 years ago by the man we bought the house from and I think it was their first Christmas tree. He said that he just couldn't bear to take it down even though he knew it needed to be done.

How ironic that today of all days the tree removal people called back and said that they could take it down today. It makes me a little sad to think of someone's history being torn down and thrown away. I know all the facts...the tree is too big, too close to the house, to dead, too everything... but it was someone's CHRISTMAS TREE!!!! Maybe it is just the cycle of the house. New owners, new tree.

Getting in the Holiday Spirit

Well, I am finally feeling "Christmassy." There is snow on the ground and I have been listening to holiday music all day today at work (by choice if you believe that!) and I think that my DH and I will get our Christmas tree tonight or Friday!! I am so excited. We just bought a house in May and this will be a first for the both of us.

I only wish we had better news about children. It is so wonderful to watch the parents having fun at the holiday celebrations in town and at their homes. I have to admit I am more than a little jealous of them. We have my brothers and nieces and nephews to buy for but it just doesn't have that magical impact on me without children around. We are going to Tennessee for Christmas and I am really believing to have a great time with my family out there. I love getting up Christmas morning to Mom's cinnamon buns and overflowing stockings. I am not sure what this Christmas Eve will be like because my Grandmother always had it at her house. Even when she was so sick she had everyone over on the 24th. I hope we still go to her house even though she is gone so that my Grandpa CD feels loved and knows that we all still love him and he is still a part of this family.

I have to work on my teaching for fellowship tomorrow night. I am teaching on Ambassadors for Christ: Given to Hospitality. I love the subject because there are so many wonderful examples in the Bible of people who were hospitable (Abraham entertained angels unawares) and there are so many practical applications for this teaching in today's day and time. I just have to figure out which way I want to go with it.

I have been going to other blogs and reading what others say. I have wanted to say hello and leave a comment but I just don't know the etiquette on that. I suppose if there were someone reading what I post I would love to have them say hello. I guess I could just say "Hey, I'm your blog neighbor, just wanted to say hello."

Sad News

Well, as much as I have to be thankful for in this wonderful life there are a lot of things that force me to dig deep to be thankful. My maternal Grandmother died on Friday November 18th. My DH and I got in the car that day and drove to Tennessee (a 7 hour trip which we made in less than 6...can you say lead foot?). My grandma was 70 years old and has been fighting cancer for the last two years. Over the last few months she has had complication after complication and finally she said she was just tired. She told my mother (who was her rock and strength) that she was ready to be done fighting and that she was just tired. She told the doctor to either fix her or not but none of this back and forth crap! It is so hard to hear how much pain she was in and that she had finished her fight. I always picture my Grandma so strong and this just doesn't seem like her.

So I have three little brothers (16,10, and 9) who were taking it really hard. My family moved to Tennessee after my dad retired from 30 years in the Air Force so that they could be closer to family. That was 3 years ago and they have been loving every minute of it. My parents are both from the same small town in East Tennessee and all my Aunts, Uncles and the like are right there in that area (except the few in Florida). My brothers had a really close relationship with my grandma and I was so greatful that I was able to know her as an adult and not just as her "grandkid". My DH and I travelled to Tennessee many times just to visit with my side of the family so I was able to spend some quality time with her. She was an AWESOME woman! I am so thankful to have had her in my life...

Ah ha...that is what I can be thankful for. I guess God was right when he said to be "thankful in all things" NOT for all things but in all things. I am not thankful she is gone but I am thankful that I had her to begin with. I guess this entry has been helpful for me to see the positive in one of the hardest things I have had to face this past month.

Here's to a thankful month and a great holiday season!
God Bless

Some hopes are further away than others.

My husband and I went to the doctor yesterday and received some sad news. The only way that we will be able to have our own child is through IVF (invitro fertilization). What a blow to my hope of becoming a mother. For a little background (because I haven't posted that yet) the biggest thing I wanted to do with my life is to be a wife and mother. So far I am a GREAT wife but the mother part has eluded me for over 3 years. I guess it is time to do some research on IVF as well as adoption.

Cherry bustin'

I guess I am at a point in my life where I need some kind of record to validate who I have become and where I want to go. I tend to start something and not complete it so I suppose this is another way to see if I can be successful at one aspect of my life. Hopefully I will be able to contribute to the world by bettering myself a little each day. Here goes nothing!!